EDenzADventure

Monday, September 9, 2013

My first sermon! :)

I haven't been blogging or cleaning or emailing sisters because my spare moments have been spent working on homework for my Hermeneutics for Preaching/Counseling and Biblical Interpretation course.

Don't worry; I'm not aspiring to be a preacher (neither would I). I would, however, like to teach a bible study at some point so I want to know how to rightly divide the word of God. The course has been absolutely excellent. I've been so inspired and motivated to get into the Bible more and really study the Word given to us by God so that we might know Him!

We just have a couple weeks left before the first term is over and I head off to the States for a wonderful reuniting with the my family!!!

This week I did my first teaching in front of the class. I was doing jumping jacks all day around the house to let off nervous energy. Studying and praying over Jacob's life has been so deeply rich and meaningful for me. I was discouraged before the presentation because I felt I couldn't do GOD'S GREATNESS justice. Looking over my notes I knew there were some really powerful truths but to speak about them in my unpersuasive, boring voice wouldn't be enough. God came through for me and their were a few wet eyes in the room after I finished (including my own). I actually enjoyed teaching on what I love! I didn't even get slaughtered when it came time for the class of six to critique the content of my presentation. Other than a few heretical errors (joking) it was encouraging.

I'm sharing the teaching here hoping you too might be encouraged.

Who are you?

I'm entitling my teaching “Who are you?” Think for just a moment about who you are. What defines you? How do people know you? What would your family tell me about you? We live in a culture searching for meaning and significance. People seeking to find out and express who they are. Sometimes we ponder and ask ourselves who am I really? God asked Jacob a question like this one. God changed Jacob's identity from that of a deceiver to the child of the Living God.

Lets start by reading a significant encounter in Jacob's life: Genesis 32:22-30

I've been looking in the second half of Genesis (Ch25-50) at who Jacob was and who God made him to be. Jacob's name means deceiver or heel grasper. He's known by his family as a deceiver. He wriggled his way into getting his brothers birthright over a bowl of soup (Ch25v29-34). He deceives his father Isaac in order to get the blessing (Ch27). To escape his brother, he runs off to his Uncle Laban(Ch28). Laban's son's don't trust him with their father's livestock (Ch31v1). Laban doubts and questions Jacob's dealings (Ch31v2). Jacob gets what he wants through whatever means he can. He looks after himself. Jacob even tries cutting deals with God. God promises blessing for Jacob before he's even born but Jacob goes after it by his own means. Jacob trusts no one. In Bethel, (when Jacob is running from his brother) God speaks to Jacob in a dream and gives him a beautiful and outstanding promise. Essentially Jacob answers back “If you will do this this and this for me then you can be my God and I'll give you some of my stuff and build a house for you. Jacob is bargaining with God. Jacob's name describes him well, he grasps for what he wants and gets it through whatever means. This method seems to be working out alright for him. He's got the blessing. He's accumulated lots of animals and a family.

However, on his return to his home country Jacob is met with a crisis. Esau is coming after him with four hundred men! Jacob is in the middle of a desert with all that he owns. His wives and children are there with him and they're about to be attacked in the wilderness. Jacob divides his family into two camps in a desperate hope that some might escape and live. He sends ahead gifts hoping to calm the wrath of his brother. He's in trouble and he's outnumbered. Jacob's afraid (Ch32v7). What is he to do?? Where can he turn?? He's burnt all his bridges. He's alone and he's vulnerable. Jacob's run out of idea's and he's out of resources. He's terrified. So he cries out to God. (Ch32v9-12).

In the middle of a sleepless night Jacob gets up and sends his family and all his possessions on ahead of him. He helps them cross the stream. Then all alone in the dark he meets with God. Yes God is there. He always has been but Jacob isn't used to receiving anything without a struggle so he spends much of the night wrestling with God. Jacob's spent his life stealing, bargaining, striving and working for what he has. To give up grasping is to go against who he is. If he's not Jacob the deceiver who is he? As the first gleams of daylight appear Jacob is still going strong but God seeks to end the fight. Jacob pleads “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” God asks him: “What is your name?”(Ch32v27) “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed.” And God blesses him there (Ch32v28). In Jacob's last fight he looses his identity and is blessed. Jacob wins because he's finally lost himself. God is calling Jacob his own. He's claiming him. Jacob is no longer identified by his sin, he's no longer son of Satan, the father of lies. (John 8:44) He's now Israel “My first born.” (Ex3v18,4v21ff)

This story is shocking to me?!! Can you believe The God of the Universe is identifying Himself with this scumbag Jacob?!!

Let's take a glance at God's hand in history up to this point. We see clearly that God hates wickedness and loves righteousness. Sin is punished while righteousness is rewarded. It's pretty black and white. When Adam and Eve sin they are punished (Gen3). Cain is cursed for murder (Gen4v11). Noah was 'righteous' and 'blameless' and found favor with God (Gen6v9). God preserves him and his family while punishing wickedness with a flood (Gen6v5-8). Abraham is righteous and blessed. God makes a covenant with him. Isaac is the son of promise and walks in God's ways.

Then you come to Jacob. He's not righteous. He's not even the first born. He's defined by deception. And yet God insists on pursuing and blessing him. This is different. It doesn't seem right. God seems to be confusing things. Shouldn't He have blotted out Jacob and forfeited the blessing the minute he lied to his father? Instead, God goes out of His way to save and bless this guy who continually screws up.

After encountering God Jacob declares “I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” (Gen32v30)

Why was Jacob's life preserved? Why wasn't Jacob the deceiver punished and cursed for his sin? Because Jesus, God's firstborn paid, wrestled, struggled, died and was cursed. Jacob couldn't receive the blessing under his own name but under Israel (Prince of God, God's son) he received the firstborn blessing in Christ's place! God was willing to come down as man, wrestle and be defeated/die in order that Jacob might live.

This concept was not foreign to Jacob. Earlier in his life, Jacob was blessed by Isaac in the guise of Esau the firstborn. His father poured the whole blessing on Jacob while he wore the clothes of Esau.

Now, God pours the full blessing upon Jacob - knowing full well who he is but choosing to be blind to his sin and instead see Jacob clothed in the righteousness of His first born, Jesus Christ.

Jacob's older brother Esau is out to kill him because he's stolen the blessing. Jesus, on the other hand, willingly took the Father's curse in order that the one deserving the curse might be blessed (Col1v15,2Cor5v21,Rom8v29).

There's a lot to be said about Jacob's name change and his blessing from God but in the story Jacob is still in the desert with an angry older brother and his army after him. The suns now risen, the wrestling match is over. Jacob looks up and sees Esau and his 400 men coming. Jacob's had no sleep and sports a dislocated hip but he's a new man. Jacob divides his family and goes hobbling on ahead of them - bowing seven times to the ground. Esau runs to meet him with tears, hugs and all.

When Esau inquires about all the gifts of livestock Jacob has sent ahead and says he's got enough already. Listen to Jacob's response in verse 10-11 of Chapter 33:

And Jacob said, “No, please, if I have found favor in the sight of my lord, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face AS THOUGH I HAD SEEN THE FACE OF GOD AND YOU WERE PLEASED WITH ME. Please take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough.” So he urged him and he took it.

At the onset of this journey Jacob was trying to earn favor and appease the older brother whereas now he knows he is accepted by the very brother he's stolen the blessing from and he is giving him a gift from the bountiful blessings of a gracious God. He doesn't need to give it, he already has favor but he wants to give from a heart that is overflowing with grace and gratitude.

Before leaving this story I just have one more question to ask of Jacob: Why does God name him Israel?

Israel is the nation God builds up for himself. Israel is 'His own special people'. The people of God. God calls Israel “My son, my firstborn.” Lets read from Deut7v6-8 and Ex2v22. God names a sinful people Israel and He gives them the title of firstborn. Firstborn doesn't have a whole lot of significance in our culture but in Jacob's culture firstborn was huge! It means you get your fathers title. It means a double portion. This is who Jacob becomes. He leaves behind a deceiving scoundrel and walks off in the glory of God. Jacob stands not on his own name but on the Father's name- his Father's title. His Father's words about him. Jacob had to give up trying to pay for, steal, earn, repay and wrestle for God's favor. He had to fall empty and broken on God's merciful grace. God didn't have to save Jacob. I believe God saved Jacob to show his people who He is and give them a foretaste of His glorious redemption.

Through the story of Jacob we see God's grace and mercy. We see what we (the people of Israel) are in Christ. Through Jacob its clear that it's not by our striving or our righteousness but God's own doing. Jacob couldn't even give up his striving without God touching him. Jacob won by losing. Jacob screwed up miserably but God meets him with blessing and favor, delight and grace.

What does this mean for us? I don't know about you but for me this is good news!! When I was growing up I did all I could to avoid my parents disapproval. I was good and sweet and therefore avoided punishment. I can't fake it with God. I try and try to be good and sweet but I come up empty. I find myself alone in the desert without resources. God goes after this hard-hearted deceitful man and pours his mercy and redemption and blessing upon him over and over and over. This is my story too! I screw it all up and God says “That one's mine.” “She's called by my name.”

He was not ashamed to identify with us. Who are you? What's your name? Are you known by your striving? Something you've done in the past? Are you defined by your success? Or by shame? Or.... are you known as the CHILD OF THE LIVING GOD. Is your identity found in Christ? Or is it in yourself? It's not until the self dies and we take on Christ's life that we truly live.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Carelations, Consciousness & Counseling

What people think and why they do what they do has long interested me. How long so a story for another post perhaps. Right now it's neat having come full circle back to fulfilling that desire as I find myself on the cusp of completing my Masters degree together with actually counseling real people since February this year (and more neat having Eden studying counseling papers too as she is able).

Helping reveal to clients/seekers what are the underlying, often unconscious, motivations/desires of the heart which eventually drive their conscious thought life and then visible actions is terribly tricky at times but always interesting whether we're leaping ahead through fresh insights or wading through the goop of denial.

That some well-intentioned folk rubbish counseling is par for the course of course. They aren't aware of their unconscious so in their expert opinion it simply doesn't exist. Me? I believe any life examined and reflected upon would disagree with such a blunt diagnosis.

Simple case in point follows.

In July 2010 I was looking for a new car. My reliable old Corolla had done a 6yr 100,000+km long dash with this Dickson so I'd let it pass to a friend who'd asked to buy it. Cash in the hand always good eh. Having a more suitable set of wheels for when Eden and I returned married from the USA at the end of September was the real motivation though.

I decided a Japanese station wagon with 4WD would do the trick nicely. Not an SUV as they be too pricey and thirsty despite the attraction of better off-road ability. Not a 2WD wagon as I wanted to be able to cross a wet paddock or scoot a beach given the chance. Definitely a wagon so we could sleep in the back if desired. Also wanted to be able to cart my folding Portabote on the roof and all it's seats and motor in the rear with the backseats down. Eden's up for adventure and 4WD helps that.

I hadn't found anything good in Hamilton and decided to check out a bunch of 4WD wagons selling privately all over Auckland that I'd been watching a while on TradeMe. All nice looking 4WD Toyota Carina's except for one black Honda Orthia. Never seen one before but it ticked the boxes. There was definitely something really attractive about it which I couldn't quite name when viewing the pics even though I'd actually started to swing towards considering an SUV like the Nissan Mistral over a 4WD car.

Well I got myself up to Auckland and checked out the Honda first. The young Russian guy selling it on behalf of his non English-speaking Russian friends absent wife didn't engender me to believing the deal was legit. Liked the car though. Me being me though, I'd planned to carry on and inspect as many of the Carina's as I could over the rest of the day before deciding which car was the best deal overall. I've never been in a hurry in my car buying history (except for here and that turned out great). But this time I soon surprised myself by laying my usual purchasing program aside in favour of the new logic that I liked the car enough to buy it and the price was agreeable so why carry on searching? Just do it! If I could make sure the sale was legit and the money transaction traceable (in case this smooth Russian was actually as mafia as he appeared) then I'd buy. I found ways of achieving that which they agreed to and the purchase was made.

No regrets. Our Honda's been great value by tar or by sand. One memorable trip was our taking Eden's visiting sister Jenny, her daughter Dassah, and Eden's cousin Calicoe up around the Coromandel Peninsula of a weekend in January 2011 at the height of summer. Brilliant weather, beautiful bays and beaches, and bubbling company to boot. But this big boy didn't realise he was in for a revelation as well.

Homeward bound after 2 nights in Whitianga we pulled in to a shady spot next to the Te Kouma wharf on Waipapa Bay for lunch. Twenty minutes and a full tummy later I noticed an early 90's Toyota Carib pull into the carpark and stop right behind our Orthia. So dark a green it looked black in the shade. Station wagon. 4WD. Alloy wheels. The spitting image of the black Toyota Carib that I'd used to get me around and about for much of the first year I'd been in Uganda. The car that took Eden, Chad, Megan and I up to the top of Mt Wanale for the adventure of a loud trip after rocks tore off the muffler, a superb sunset, and a hold-your-breath-moment mix-up with a circumcision party on the way back. Same car Milton and I drove all the way down to Tanzania with Eden along for a 10-day adventure that included chasing Giraffes as part of traversing much of Tarangire National Park; a long-time favourite haunt of mine.

Those warm fuzzy memories replayed as I eyed over the Te Kouma Carib resting just metres away immediately behind our wagon. It was only seeing these two right next to each other that I became suddenly aware how much my black alloy-wheeled 4WD wagon was a heck of a lot like the Carib of fun days in Africa with Eden fame! The proverbial penny having dropped I stopped to pick it up for a look reflecting on how I'd always felt good whenever I'd browsed through the online pics of the Orthia posted on TradeMe. I'd gone back numerous times for another gander cf. any of the other 4WD wagons that were just as attractive feature and price wise. No, it wasn't a early model Carib but it had looked more like the Carib than any of the Toyota's due to it's colour and it's alloy wheels. The associations we make when we're not making them. Yet particular personality people persist pooh-poohing the possibility that their past experiences, and the good or bad emotions associated with such, have any effect on the decisions they make today. Yeah right.

Ninety-mile Beach, Northland, NZ. Jan 2011.

Mamire, Tarangire National Park, TZ. Jan 2009.

There on the green Te Kouma grass I took note how my sub-conscious played a major role in my choice of car without my (conscious) knowledge. Can't say I was shocked. Can say this insight made me glad I was already set to start Biblical Counseling studies at GTC in a couple months time. That felt right too - and 2yrs later still does. The real realization bonus however is that now it's "conscious" the good vibe associations are no longer a vague undefined feeling but actual thinkable thoughts. Meaning I can now thank God for those blessed Africa by Carib times whenever I see my Honda :)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Proclaimerspeak

[I gave this public testimony at church last Sunday and have edited it for our reading audience].

I've been sitting on a story too long. But recently I was reading the two bible passages Eden and I chose to have spoken over our wedding. The connections revealed there compel me to speak/write today.

Midway through last year Peter Reynolds invited us to move up to South Auckland early 2013 to proceed faster with my counseling studies and practical internship. I won't go into all the details of what such a change meant for us except to say that even change chosen for the opportunity of growth has it's painful side. It means letting go of the comfort and security of the known in exchange for the unknown. And change usually seems to mean disappointing someone. Something Eden and I both struggle with.

Anyway by the close of 2012, after months of waiting in prayer, we'd decided to take up Peter's offer. Some things were falling into place but others were still very much a mystery. God was asking us not to worry about these but to trust Him with the outcomes regardless. Easier said than done :)

Before leaving the quiet rural spot where we lived the romantic in my wife wanted us to sleep outside one night on the lawn under the stars as they are much more visible there than here. I gave in on Boxing day night but sudden heavy rain just a few hours in aborted the mission. Apparently that didn't count for Eden so on New Years Eve I decided to man up and make a real occasion of it for her.

We welcomed in the New Year with chocolate under a clear starry sky. Perfect! Except that afterwards I couldn't sleep because now that it was 2013 the unknowns about the fast-approaching shift had more bite. Enough that doubts about whether God really was with us in the move started churning up my gut. Thankfully I eventually remembered to ask God for His counsel instead of listening to myself. After making that prayer I was able to sleep.

Couple hours later I awoke suddenly but didn't bother looking out from under the covers because there was really heavy dew and mosquitos around. I was going to nod off again when I felt compelled in spirit to look out and up, like there was something I needed to see. I pushed the covers back surprised to see the most unusual skyscape. Thick cloud of one type encircled the entire horizon. It pushed in more on the sides leaving a huge oval shape directly above me. This was filled up by strange swirled stringlines of cloud. I gazed at it a long time in wonder because the likeness to a thumbprint was undeniable. Like God had reached down to leave His personal mark over my world. Unbelieveable...except that Scripture declares in

PSALM 19 “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the skys proclaim His handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge...”

Myself (Eden too, because I sure did wake her up to witness it and share my joy), I'm convinced my loving Saviour took the time to comfort my struggling heart with truth made observable. Truth that He was all over my 2013 before the sun even rose on the first day. With this perspective my fears shrank and I slept in peace under the thumbprint of my wonderful Counselor, prince of peace, mighty God, the everlasting Father. Somehow Jesus can be all these at the same time.

Which brings me to our second wedding scripture. Once again I'll just insert the first verse not the whole caboodle...

ISAIAH 62 “For the churches sake I will not keep silent, and for the churches sake I will not be quiet, until her righteousness goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a burning torch...”

What/who is our righteousness and salvation except Jesus Christ Himself? And He's the only one able to light the way ahead like a burning torch!

Halfway through 2013, I'm standing here to proclaim that He's blessed my family by providing beyond our hopes. All we really had to do was turn up! Follow Him :) Among other things He's provided flexible part-time work for me with a great boss, enough counseling clients that I'm 2/3 of the way through my internship hours and we've found living here easier and more enjoyable than expected. And a lot of that is thanks to His people in our new church fellowship.

In return can I encourage you to 1) remember to not panic whenever you feel like God's left you in the dark. Admit your struggles and cry out unashamedly to Him for help. He will light the way ahead in His own good time as you obey His call to follow Him. 2) let's take the opportunity to proclaim to each other our stories of God's faithfulness to us. Let's not be shy but purposeful in doing this.

Thanks for reading. Glory to God for what He's done, does and will yet do.