Welcome into our home Tazara!
Before God formed you in my womb He knew you. He knew you'd fit just right with your Papa, Zeke and me. We love your soft chubby cheeks and your bright blue eyes. I wish you didn't shed so many tears and that I knew how to console you better when you cry. Your sweet smiles are such a reward. I love how you nearly laugh when I kiss your neck and talk to you. You've spent many hours snuggled close to me in your 'mama lovin' wrap or lying nestled right beside me on the bed as I study, read or rest.
Zeke has had to adjust to sharing attention with you. It's been six
weeks now since you were born. He's excited to see you in the mornings.
He gets on his tip toes and nearly tips the bassinet over in order to
get a good look at his pretty little sister. He rocks your carseat when
you cry. He knows how to put a dummy in your mouth and take it back out
again - trying a taste in between to make sure its safe for his wee sis.
A few days ago I stepped out of the car for some veggies and asked Zeke
to look after you. He gave me a knowing look and placed a hand on your
car seat.
My sister, your auntie Katrina came all the way from America to be here when you were born. She had been talking to you lots when you were in mama's tummy and she was there when you were born. She had her 13th birthday the day of your baptism. You got lots of snuggles and cuddles from her in your first weeks before Katrina had to go home.
Here's the story of your birth:
In the early hours of Monday morning, 24th September 2012, Tazara Dawn started her journey...God delivered her to us at 10:52am.
The 20 wk scan showed a baby running slightly below average for size. I'd had a scan at 35wks because my midwife was concerned baby might be small....it turns out she showed us all wrong by weighing in at 9lbs15oz when born!!
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| Katrina, Zeke and me...waiting..... |
With lots of false labour starting at 33 weeks we were expecting another
early baby. Tazara took her time however, arriving fashionably late
nearly a week past due date. God answered prayers regarding not having
to be induced and brought Tazara the very morning that my midwife had suggested as induction day. I'd been waking up for weeks with strong contractions at night often coming just minutes apart so it wasn't new to me the morning of the twenty-fourth. With the due date behind us, I knew she couldn't keep us in suspense much longer. At 3am I jotted down times...contractions were still jumping around roaming from 3 to 10 minutes apart but they were getting stronger. Many people had told me that second babies tend to come fast. With Zeke's birth being only 15 months earlier and lots of pre-labour, I was warned to not waste any time once labour started. Feeling like it was finally the real thing Andrew and I prayed and started arranging to take Zeke to Mum and Dad Dickson's, waking Katrina and eating some cereal. Though a little nervous I was full of excitement and anticipation at meeting our baby!
Angela, our midwife agreed to meet us at River Ridge Birth Center. In the car I texted Papa and Mama in the States. Once there, things had slowed down a little so Katrina, Andrew and I walked up and down the steps and I gave Katrina a tour of the place with momentary pauses as contractions came and went.
Poor Andrew had already taken off work the night before for a sick day. His eyes were red and sore with conjunctivitis and his body aching from a nasty flu and cough. Once contractions started coming close together and intense I got in the nice deep round bath, I was so thankful for the relief the water brought. Birth showed me that Andrew and I have grown closer over the last year- he was so good at walking me through each contraction and doing for me just exactly what was wanted. Although deep in pain I felt spoiled with Andrew and Katrina's loving care. It was so special to have my dear sister... all the way from the States... close, squeezing my hand and massaging my pressure points. Labour moved along slower than Angela expected and the contractions kept coming strong without moving to pushing contractions. Eventually she broke the waters to move things along. At the end when pain was excruciating Katrina poured cold water down my back to distract from the pain. I felt desperate for it to be over, I alternated between panicking and telling myself it'd be okay, God's over it all and I'll meet my baby soon.
All pain was momentarily forgotten at the sight of my little girl! IT'S A GIRL! Katrina had been talking to and referring to her little niece as a "she" for weeks but Andrew and I had been convinced we were having a boy. In a way though, I wasn't surprised, holding her there in my arms felt so good and right and perfect and comforting. She took a minute to take a good breathe in, I was so relieved and happy tears filled my eyes when she finally let out a strong cry. I held her close as we oowed and ahhed over her. Thank you God. Birth was behind us and a little girl in our arms!
Andrew hopped out of the pool for a quick shower. After delivering the placenta, blood gushed out like from a hose. Angela pushed a button to call some nurses/midwives. They thought the bleeding was because of the placenta so they jabbed my leg three times with something to slow or stop the bleeding and massaged my stomach vigorously. Katrina was holding Tazara. I looked around for Andrew hoping he'd return. I passed out a few times and when I came to Andrew had his arms around me. I was helped from the bath into a wheel chair and we made our way to the bed. I tried nursing Tazara and Andrew went for the phone so we could call our families with the news. I was looking forward to a clean shower and some food while praying under my breath that I wouldn't need stitches.
When Angela was finished with some paper work she checked the blood flow and said I would need a couple stitches. I took a breath, asked Andrew to pray for me and prepared for some more pain. I consoled myself with the thought that this was the end of the suffering..then I could shower and eat and hold my new baby. I was wrong.
After the stitches I wasn't able to stand or even hold myself up to sit in bed. Angela said that unless I could get up on my own I couldn't stay at the birth center. I tried to make myself get up but my body wouldn't cooperate. Andrew told Angela "just call the ambulance" so she did and while we all waited she hooked me up to a catheter. The ambulance crew was made up of two girls and a guy. After introducing themselves and quickly taking in the situation they decided not to take along the other patient needing an ambulance but to leave straight away with me. They quickly transferred me onto a stretcher as Andrew tucked Tazara in her car-seat preparing to follow the ambulance in our car. Lying in the ambulance I asked if my sister could come with me? "Yes"! so Katrina hopped in beside me.
Things seemed to be happening faster than I could take them in. My head held a blur of emotions but I must confess I was a little excited to be riding in an ambulance. They connected me to a heart monitor. Once in the hospital multiple people introduced themselves and stated what they were about to do. My head was spinning and it was hard to concentrate or take in what was being said or happening around me. A doctor with gloves started to do an inspection. It was excruciatingly painful. The inspection retear my prior stitches. I protested and asked if they could please wait for Andrew my husband to get there. I felt insecure and unsure of what all they were trying to do to me. I didn't think I could handle anything else being done to me and it was all very much out of my control. I looked over at Katrina who looked in pain to see me suffering again. I wanted to assure her it would all be okay but I was starting to get really scared. It seemed to take forever for Andrew to come and they wanted to go ahead without him... he walked through the door and they started again to look for the problem and find out where all the bleeding was coming from. Katrina stepped out of the room with Tazara. Someone handed me a gas mask and I started hyperventilating. I don't know whether I was passed out or not. I started to see in slow motion and I couldn't feel or move my body but I could see Angela looking really concerned. It took effort to move my eyes to find Andrew's. I thought I'd gone into a coma and feared I'd never come out.
When I came too I was crying uncontrollably, the staff and Andrew were trying to calm me. They had found a third degree tear and a ruptured artery, they decided not to do any more until I was put under. Thank you God! People rushed around, a few more introduced themselves, with great effort I lifted my hand to scribble my signature on a few sheets of paper, agreeing I was okay with having annithesea.
Janet (Andrew's loving sister) came to pick up Katrina who would stay at Dad & Mum's. Andrew waited with Tazara outside the operating room. During surgery Andrew tried to console poor little Tazara, distressed with hunger. I was told that while under anesthetics my heart rate rose at the sound of her crying.
It was late evening when I came to. Tazara was sound asleep and exhausted so she won't wake up to nurse. My heart rate climbed and blood pressure dropped throughout the night, by 3am they had started the first of three blood transfusions. Alone in the hospital and unable to sleep I called Mama in the wee hours of the morning to talk over the birth with her. Everyone who walked in told me I looked like a ghost. I wasn't allowed out of bed for a shower until two days later. I felt so disgusting and when I finally saw myself in the mirror it was a sad sight, so much fluids had been pumped into my veins that I looked swollen all over.
The days in the hospital were special bonding time with Tazara, she spent much of the time in my bed as I couldn't lift her from hers and the nurses took a while to come when I'd ring. I also had some good times with God to think and pray and journal and process the birth. I really missed Andrew and Katrina and Zeke though and felt lonely and sore and sleep deprived. Andrew came twice each day and had beautiful roses delivered to my room! Lynda came and saw me on her break from working another branch of the
hospital. She had arranged meals so that I wouldn't have have to cook
once home! Mum brought a very happy and well cared for little Zeke by and I cried to see his precious self. The hospital is particular about visiting hours but they allowed Katrina to come and stay with me the last day. I felt so much healthier and happier with Katrina there and the nurses evaluation only confirmed Katrina's healing influence! :)
I got special visits from Pastor Michael and Gea. Paula, Jess, and Talia arrived showering me with gifts and baby girl clothes! Talia changed Tazara from her blue car outfit and into one with pink roses! :) Jess spoiled me with a grocery bag full of luxurious treats and yummy nibbles. Peter van der Wel also came by just as we were leaving. It was humbling, overwhelming and special to be so well cared for and looked after by family and friends even though many I love are an ocean away.
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| Home at last! |
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| Snuggles with Aunty Katrina! |
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| Baptism at 3 weeks |
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| Tazara Dawn 11 weeks. |
By ;~pikipikipoet
