baby & Mama news!!!!

My body is reluctantly adjusting to getting up at night to Zeke's patient pleas. I've done quite a bit of sleep talking in my life and Andrew's weaned me off most of my nightmares so now I've taken on some new sleeping activities. Often my subconscious body will hear Zeke's cries or stirrings and I'll start to cuddle, quiet, and feed him in my sleep. This sweet but unproductive work is usually interrupted by a word or nudge from Andrew. Like I said....So glad GOD doesn't slumber or sleep but is always awake and on duty for us!

My admiration for mothers is growing rapidly. I've spent many years watching Mom's/Mum's. I've been stashing away a list of role models and listening for secrets of wisdom they drop along the way. Many  women I've crossed paths with or been able to read about like Sarah Edwards (Jonathan's wife), Idelette Calvin (John's wife), and many others have left me inspired and amazed but I still have found the most courage, wisdom and encouragement from my own Mama's example and her loving counsel.

One thing that I've appreciated is my parents attitude towards children. Growing up with nine siblings I never once heard Mama talk negatively about children, being pregnant or nursing. It wasn't until leaving home that I realized how rare this is. Since being pregnant and having my own babe I've heard a lot of friendly negativity and complaining about the aches, pains and struggles that come with the journey. I've even chimed in here and there and though it's momentarily fun I've found that the conversations don't build my faith or uplift my spirit. I love talking to Mama about the wonder of having a baby, the sweet bond of nursing and the funny little ways of an infant. It's helps me on trying days to see the wonder of it all and to look at Zeke as my very own challenging little miracle. ;)

And now the teary and wonderful moment long anticipated is Lord-willing nearly here....MAMA ARRIVES IN JUST TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)!!

Musings for Father's Day

Today I caught Andrew gazing at Zeke's sweet sleeping form. I thought of how God miraculously delights to watch over us as the 'apple of His eye.' A son may try and do any number of things to make his papa proud just as we may try to perform for God's approval but even in the nothingness of sleeping we have God's perfect delight.

I love to see our Lord's fingerprints all over his creations and facets of his heart and character etched in each and every area of life. As I transitioned from singleness into knowing and eventually marrying Andrew- God took me on a very romantic and exciting journey into a deeper knowledge and experience of the mystery of 'Christ in you.' I found new joy in Christ's knowing and pursuing me as a groom and husband. God continues to deepen my walk with Him through marriage. My hope now with being a new mother is that God might open my eyes and heart again and again showing me more of Himself. Teaching me how we relate to Him as a Father and how He sees us as his children. I desire to be amazed and astounded afresh by verses like: 

"He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

"Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 

Hebrews 12:6

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! " Matthew 7:12

Waking each night at Zeke's small cry teaches me of our utter dependence on God. All we can do is cry and trust he will hear and answer. I once thought my 'cries' were a nuisance to Abba but he tells us to cry out to Him and assures us that he will hear and answer. 

I'm a very sound sleeper. I've slept through many alarm clocks and once even fell off my top bunk bed without awaking. Yet even in the exhaustion following Zeke's birth my ears were tuned to his cry. I'd wake to the smallest squeal, grunt or cry. It makes me feel so very loved and cared for to think this is the same attention the King of Kings, Lord of all the earth gives to us his very own children.

And what a comfort and relief that God doesn't grow weary and overwhelmed as I so easily do in these early days of mothering. He doesn't worry and wonder if his babe's still breathing. He doesn't stand over the cradle with tears wondering how he's ever going to teach this child all that he'll need to know. 

God, 

You're the perfect father! 

You are Love.

You know all things! 

You are the teacher! 

You are the great physician! 

You are God and their is no other! 

In You we live and breathe and have our being! 

In You we rest! 

Watoto Ugandan Choir

On the evening of Zeke's 12th day he sat contentedly with Andrew and I listening to the joyous music coming from the 'Watoto'(children in Swahili). Last night the three of us ventured into Hamilton to hear Uganda's children's choir. The church building was packed and the African children sang and danced beautifully for their Maker! Each one robed in African attire with it's glorious colors. A few tears escaped my eyes as I looked down at a very loved and cared for little Zeke and then up to the eyes of a dozen orphaned children sharing their stories and celebrating the love and care of their heavenly Father.

I don't know what many of the words in the book of Revelation mean or how they will be revealed but I love the picture of hope and love painted in chapter 7 when the elders ask about the ones clothed in white robes and it is answered regarding them "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore

'they are before the throne of

God

and serve him day and

night in his temple;

he who sits on the

throne will spread his tent

over them.

Never again will they hunger;

never again will they thirst.

The sun will not beat upon

them,

nor any scorching heat.

For the Lamb at the center of

the throne will be their

shepherd ;

he will lead them to springs

of living water.

And God will wipe away

every tear from their

eyes.' 

Rev. 7:14-17

This is what I see for the children left orphaned by aids and toiling under the African sun for food in dumpsters. I see God stretching his tent over them, quenching their thirst and wiping each tear.

A birth story- Introducing Zeke Benaiah

"Unto us a son is given! Eden & I so blessed to greet a healthy Zeke Benaiah ("God will strengthen" who "God has made") at 10.52am this Sunday morning 5th June NZ time. 
Coming 3wks before due date Zeke was 3.45kg/7lb9oz. Love to all our family & friends, we are all well - thanks for your prayers :)" ~AJD


Zeke Benaiah has found a cozy place inside our home and deeply implanted his little self on our hearts. God had his hand on this precious babies birth and answered many prayers. I had selfishly put in a request for Zeke to be under eight pounds. God brought him three weeks early to manage that one. We were also praying that we would be able to have Zeke at the Birth Center, two days earlier and we would have had to have him at the hospital. 


Pain is a sad result of the fall but God uses even pain to teach us of his love and goodness. I'm so thankful for a strong and loving husband to labor along with and for a precious beautiful boy as a result. My love for both was heightened greatly through the experience. 


On Saturday night Andrew and I retired for a reasonably early night after a competitive couple rounds of golf(cards). At 3am I awoke to my waters breaking. Feelings of surprise, excitement, and fear collided inside me as the reality of the days event stretched before me. Andrew sat up, I leaned against him and he prayed. Andrew had been lying awake for a while and decided to get up for some prayer and his bible reading. I laid my head back on the pillow and tried to get some more rest before contractions started. It was no use. I prepared scrabbled eggs and toast for Andrew's and my early morning breakfast. Andrew added our stash of chocolate covered almonds and chocolate covered raisins to the feast. After eating Andrew started putting a bag of things together, loading the car seat into the car, and doing up the dishes. I started forming a mental list of the things I had planned to get done before Zeke's arrival. I suddenly felt the urge to dust the living-room. Andrew looked my way with a 'what in the world' sort of smile as I stood on a chair brushing away cob-webs from our wooden ceiling. Settling down on the bed we opened to read from our currant novel 'The Girl From Johnny Cake Hill.' 


At 5am I started to time contractions at 5minutes apart, they quickly increased in intensity and got closer together. Andrew paused from his reading to put pressure on my back or to mark down the time. Eventually he gave up reading altogether, contractions one after another at 2-3 minutes apart. We waited until 6am and then called Karen our midwife. She said she'd meet us at River Ridge Birth Center in Hamilton. 


Once at the Birth Center Karen told us that I was two centimeters dilated. She said it could be a while and suggested we go back home where we'd be most comfortable. A little discouraged we started back home, contractions had lessened a little but were still coming every couple minutes. I felt exhausted at the thought of going on like this for hours. I tried to rest but couldn't get comfortable between contractions. Andrew filled up a hot water pack, massaged my pressure points, and offered me sips of water. I tried getting in the shower. With only a fairly small capacity water heater in our flat, Andrew turned the tap off between contractions to make it last. I liked Andrew's suggestion of using our wonderful neighbor Janine's bathtub but I hated the thought of Andrew leaving me even for a moment to go and ask her. 

Eventually we made our way over there, the water felt wonderful. I wanted to keep quiet for the sake of Janine's children whom she had taken to the other side of the house. I always thought I'd be a graceful and quiet laborer only letting out pleasant sounds as someone gently dabbed my forehead with a cool cloth. Instead my throat gave way to the sounds that surged within me and the bellows didn't fit inside my fantasy. I tried to remember Jenny's advice on helpful sounds to make, instruction from our antenatal classes, and things I'd read on working with the contractions instead of fighting them. 


All of a sudden the pain switched from my stomach to my back and I felt the need to push. More than anything I wanted to be in safe hands at the birthing center. Janine came in with a phone in her hands and Andrew went for the number. During a contraction Janine checked and could see the tip of Zeke's head, thankfully I didn't know this at the time. Andrew played midwife coaching me into clothes and the car. I couldn't sit down so I lay down sideways in the back seat. 

I could feel God giving me strength for this last stretch. I spoke truth aloud in between contractions to keep fear from controlling my mind: "You know what I can take....You wouldn't give me any more than I can handle...Your giving me strength...It will be okay..." Andrew drove the 25 minute drive to the birth center with his hand behind the drivers seat for me to hold or squeeze. What a relief when we got there, I stepped out of the car in time for a strong pushing contraction. I held unto Andrew and five midwives rushed out with a wheel chair to help us in. Karen asked if I wanted to be checked or go straight to the bath. Straight into the bath, Andrew beside me, Karen coaching, three contractions and Zeke was out. Karen lifted his perfect little self unto my chest. Tears filled my eyes and throat as I looked down at my son, I looked up to find Andrew's eyes mirroring my own. We had done it and he was perfect! Thank you Lord!  

It was exciting and special to call and share Zeke's arrival with all of our wonderful family. I got to talk to Heidi working for the summer in Tennessee. After I shared Zeke's name and his birth story with her, she let out one of those 'Wow! God is so amazing!' sort of exclamations and told me that at the exact time of Zeke's birth she was sitting with a family who had two boys Zeke and Zeb. Their mother was sharing with Heidi the story of Zeke's birth and how miraculously God brought them these two boys. She and her husband were twenty-one years apart in age and Heidi said she fell in love with this family and there sweet story of God's goodness. It's so special to me that God gave Heidi this little window into Zeke's birth through a family so similar to our budding Dickson clan.

Sunset Beach Tales.

Over Sunset beach

High kite sails

Surfers waving

Past.

Over windwashed sand

Tyre whine wails

Land yachts slaving

Blast.

Over sweepy dunes

Our fitness fails

We water craving,

Aghast.

Over tidal scape

Our Honda flails

Keep her revving

Fast!

;~pikipikipoet

Saturday at Sunset Beach with Abba and Andrew

In 'My Seventh Monsoon,' (a book Andrew and I recently finished) Naomi Reed speaks of the power of beauty. When she and her husband are choosing a house in Nepal with their three young boys, they decide on a hut along the cleft because "views are everything." Though they live with water problems, a curfew, and other consequences of the civil war raging around them, they are able to be ministered to and enjoy the inspiration of the Himalayans from their humble home.

God reveals himself through His glorious creation and allows us to enjoy beauty with Him. Even amidst a struggling, suffering, disease and sin stricken world there are untold beauties that take our breathe away. We rush about day to day and so often forget to notice the sun rising valiently each morning and faithfully drawing each day to a close at dusk.

On the few motorbike rides Andrew and I got in Uganda and on our ten day road trip through Kenya and Tanzania I saw that Andrew was a man deeply inspired by beauty. He found pleasure in taking me to and pointing out beautiful sights, views, animals and plants. Andrew and I have been able to enjoy many of God's glorious displays of beauty in the last months. It's fun to delight in these pleasures together.

We spent last Saturday at Port Waikato's Sunset beach, a bit more than an hours drive away. The car was filled with pillows and sleeping bags to keep us snug from the cold on the breezy ocean shore. Our afternoon was spent: reading and sleeping in the back of the wagon, strolling, sliding through the dunes, and watching sand yachts racing each other along the shore. Low tide was at 1.30pm. Around 3.30pm Andrew felt we better get off the beach. Thankfully our Honda Orthia struggled off the soft beach just in time with tide climbing and Andrew praying as hard as his foot pressed on the gas.

Taking a different route home we scurried along beautiful windy coastal gravel roads filled with ocean and
farmland views. The New Zealand landscape made a little carsickness well worth it ;) The sun set over the ocean at 5pm amidst an emotional sky beginning to trickle rain. I laid down in the back for part of the trip and watched New Zealand passing by through splattered panes of wet glass. We stopped for dinner and a soak in hot pools made from the Waingaro hot springs. Thankfully the water wasn't too hot for baby Dickson. Warm water along with the evenings cool air felt soothing and refreshing after a long drive and earlier traipsing through domineering dunes. Andrew and I ended the day in the best of ways- with ice cream ;) and headed for home.