Beach Biking Babes

After a busy first term we spent a week at Waihi Beach recently staying in a cosy bach situated right on the ocean front. A wonderful time thoroughly enjoying the many different things we got up to with the kids, together and alone as individuals. Thought I'd post a few videos as a change from the usual stills.

Papacity

Papacity ~ a brand new word describing the sum combination of Papa's passion for the gospel, his tenacity, his capacity. And by no means least the population of Howards he and Mama have birthed physically and spiritually, who, by the grace of our Heavenly Papa will take up a block or two in the future heavenly city of the Redeemed of the Lord Jesus Christ.

The poem below, penned for the celebration of my father-in-law's 60th has elements of our courtship and his significant role in it etc. Our thanks and love to you today Mr Michael Howard!

Papacity.

Here's to you Papa

Tupenda ukaa hapa

Building your legacy

Maryland neo-papacy.

Post our African stew

She for Liberty tower flew

For a super power wait

While we kneed our fate.

Trip of grace gifted

A household shifted

To Little Women vanned

Busy playing my hand

In an Eden of veracity

You blessed my tenacity

Past a flashing sword

Her you let me toward.

Yet God was with us all

No-one dropped the ball

Talked out defence/attack

Off to Heinz field on track

After a week's insight

Learning the dance right

Map Papa's way outta town

When Garmin let us down

Two wed became one

New home under the Son

Hard Papa to let her go

But God had Zeke to know!

He and his kin shall hear

Your faith spoken clear

Christ Jesus to us passed

Bearing fruit to the last.

;~pikipikipoet

Hoping to add a pic later, but work is calling...

Delightfully Dependent

Feeling ever so convicted last night during class. In our Thursday night Pastoral Counseling course, Peter Reynolds spoke of a fruitful life of a tree as opposed to a thorn bush. Only by living day by day in the repentance and grace of the gospel can we cross the channel from a thorn bush to a luscious tree. I've often lived openly as one aware of my need and great dependence on God to get from one day to another or even from morning til noon.

A year and a half ago when we got married I felt people were watching to see what would happen with this bizarre romance that started in Africa between two unlikely people from very different places. I could feel the love and care of friends in the States wondering if I'd be alright so far from home and family. I felt cared for by many in New Zealand who questioned how I was getting on. Before leaving the States I could hear whispers under peoples breath “She has no idea what she is doing” and I had to admit “no I don't.” But my conviction in God's leading and my love for Andrew were strong. I felt I needed to prove that I can do it and that I am thriving because God orchestrated it and it is good. Somewhere inside I felt to struggle would reflect poorly on God's plan and beautiful purpose.

Last night Peter Reynold's spoke some powerful words: “When we talk down or minimize the heat in our lives we minimize our daily need for the gospel and miss out on the journey through grace that awaits us.” Where I've gone wrong at times in the last year and a half is in telling myself “I can do this.” In reality “I can't do this.” I'm not trying to say that there's anything especially hard about being married, being a mum, or being in New Zealand. It doesn't matter where I am or what my life holds, married or not, US or not, baby or no baby, ...without God's strength and grace and help day by day I can't do life.

Earlier this week, just after finishing some stitches on a couch cushion, I lay down to sleep. I was drifting somewhere between concious thought and dreaming. I saw my life stretching before me as I drove the boundries in a utility truck. It felt as if I was driving a sewing machine around the seam of my life, seeking to hold it all together in a neat and tidy bundle. But, the details kept spreading wider and farther, dividing, twisting and turning with new responsibilities and circumstances out of my control. I could feel my ability to drive unraveling as the task grew before me. Overwhelming panic and fear grew inside me as I struggled to find an escape. Andrew woke me from my sort of anxiety attack. A storm of tears washed my face and in time I slept. I can still taste the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and inability to do what I needed to do that the 'dream' left me with. I'm reminded of my need for God. My wordsmith husband once teasingly configured the letters in 'eden' to spell 'need'. :) Yes I am a needy soul in desperate dependence upon God day by day and hour by hour. This is where I intend to stay!

I would so love to copy and paste the lecture of last night but I hope a snidbit of my own journey through the notes and some of the impact of it will be encouraging to you in whatever circumstances you find challenging, difficult or painful. Whether it's the small day to day battles or a huge life-shattering experience: “Don't waste the pain!” Use it to carry you to the cross.

Much love,

Eden

ps. We've had some trouble posting pictures lately but we'll work on that soon. 

What is love?

Andrew wheel-standing at Raglan Beach

There's a fire and there's a passion. 

But what is love when the embers die down?

Love is talking. 

Love is a smile. 

Love is someone being there. 

Love is doing ordinary things together. 

Love looks with seeing eyes. 

Love is pausing. 

Love is continuing. 

Love is being kind again today. 

Love is laughing or letting go because...

 the person over-rides the annoyance. 

Love is asking. 

Love looks after and takes care of. 

Love grows. 

Love keeps on loving. 

Love doesn't stop believing. 

Love mends. 

Love speaks. 

Love is powerful. 

Love waits. 

Love is quiet and love is loud. 

Love screams and whispers. 

Love is masculine and feminine. 

Love is Andrew and love is Eden. 

Love is God. 

And He has created us in His image. 

Love grows. 

Love keeps on pouring.

Love relights the fire.

He multiplies Himself in us.

June, 2010
Queenstown, South Island

Bridal Veil Falls

God, your heart is so generous. (Reading in Luke...)Too big to shut people out on Sundays. Too big to close your eyes to people when you want some alone time with your Father. (Listening to 'Revive our Hearts')You say "Come and be with me forever." "I'm preparing a place for you." No tiring of me. No down time. No shutting me out but always welcoming me in. Always open arms. Jesus, I would have been a nagging one in the crowd, following, begging, nagging for more attention and more answers. My faith is slow and small but I'd persist and you wouldn't turn me away cause you didn't turn away the children and you didn't turn down the persistent widow, you didn't ignore the blind beggar. Your love never fails.

Fathers Day

Today is Fathers Day in NZ. I'd forgotten what with the previous night out cheering Waikato on towards winning the final of the NZ Rugby Championship Cup from Canterbury live at the Waikato Stadium in Hamilton. But they hadn't won and we'd trudged home, not shattered but a tad despondent all the same.

But this morning Eden put a smile on my dial when she called me to breakfast out of my uncharacteristic blue funk sleep-in. I stumbled sleepy-eyed out to a plate full of yummy bacon, cheese omelette, bagels & cream cheese and a steaming mug of chai masala tea followed by a sweet Fathers Day pronouncement and delectable kiss. Zeke looked happy too, having already changed his duds and dined. And that is a snapshot of how hard life with Eden can be.

So yes today is Fathers Day - it's Abbas' Day as is every day of my life living as his skillfully disciplined and wonderfully loved son. A son learning to be a Father :)

Awakened from a dream

Sunsetting last Sept - Arcadia Nat. Park, Maine.

A 

couple 

random

ponderings 

regarding 

dreams....

Compared to Andrew's dreams - dining with Lions in Africa, riding motorbikes over ocean waves, and such, my dreams are relatively boring.



If dreams reveal something of the heart mine might reveal a fearful heart but perhaps also an expectant heart. I love witnessing miracles while I sleep. I don't mind some traumatic happenings behind closed eyelids if I get to watch bold prayers answered, victorious healings and God coming through once again.

The night before last...Heidi and I were journeying through India. The dream had Papa and Mama in it. Seth, Joseph and Trina played roles as well. Tweety only 2 or 3yrs. My pleasantly uneventful dream was interrupted by small cries. I awoke to find myself in another dream. Manly beside me and the Zekester crying for me from the next room. I'm a Mum now and a wife. Married nearly a year and living in a pleasant land called New Zealand. Heidi's journeying through Tennessee with a heart overflowing with tender love and passion for Abba. Seth and Joseph have tripled from the size they were in the that sneak peek of them I got in my dream. Katrina's off finding house jobs so she can one day visit Andrew and I. I never thought being awakened by crying could be peaceful or pleasant but somehow lying there next to Andrew with fresh memories of ones I love on my mind and a renewed sense of awe at the place I'm in now I couldn't have been happier to answer the beaconing calls from that cute little bundle in the cradle.

Honeymooning - St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands.

People talk of  their 'dream home,' 'dream job,' or a 'dream life.' What back drop would I choose? What characters would fit into my dream story? What smells, sounds and sights would set the scene? I have only what I know to draw on and I wouldn't want to leave anything out. Each person must fit, I'd like each color to be there and even each taste. God, I'm rather happy with what you've done down here so I can't wait to see what you've come up with for up there!

O how I miss you...Let me count the ways.

awaiting Papa's homecoming...

Andrew headed off Monday for his first official day at Prison Care Ministries (PCM). The day has come...I have to start sharing my Man loved by God. After a blessed year of being wed God's answered many prayers and not only provided work for Andrew but work that inspires his heart, will challenge his own spiritual walk, and use the gifts God's given him. He'll be working 3 full days/wk with PCM and carry on with 2 days/wk studying pastoral care & counseling at Grace Theological College (in Auckland) which he started earlier this year. The work and study is a perfect fit. It's such a treat to be able to watch God fit things together like a puzzle when even a month ago it just looked like a bunch of disconnected pretty little pieces. 

PCM has four houses in Hamilton to help ex-prisoners to reintegrate into society. Geoff and Jill have run the PCM halfway house ministry since 2003 and been working in prison ministry for over 25 years. They have become 'Mum' and 'Dad' to many ex-prisoners over the years. They help with any number of things including budgeting, resumes, hooking up with churches, etc. Please pray that God's name would be glorified through this ministry and for wisdom in how it is to be continued and grown. Geoff and Jill receive letters of inquiry from men in prison wanting/needing a place to start off in upon their release. The parties correspond and the men are interviewed in person for suitability when next PCM are able to visit that particular prison. Currently PCM receives many times more requests from inmates than they have beds for. Life behind bars is such a drastically different culture from life outside. Prisoners struggle immensely with this harsh transition, many don't cope and end up back inside. This re-offending percentage is greatly reduced, however, if they make it past the first year. They need the help of Abba, and the prayers and support of His people, to fight and win the daily battles dealing with loneliness, depression, hopelessness, despair, failure, rejection by many, and numerous other obstacles on the path to learning to walk in freedom. Please cry out to God for these prodigal sons in desperate need of God's saving grace and deep healing love.

Zeke was baptized!

 July 17th

"I will be a god to you and to your children after you."

Welcome to the covenant family Zekester. 

Fits just right

 I love being a woman. Riding emotions to untold lands. Surfing and sailing a full spectrum of moods. I love being a wife and a mama. Sorting through the growing list of occupations and careers I can't find one I'd rather give my days to than the love of my life and our wee babe. Majoring on my man will take a lifetime worth of credits but my minor is fitting just perfect within my arms. The tasks are growing as I learn new skills. Challenges are added just ahead of the rate of my climbing ability. I'm making the job my own, seasoning life with a new blend of spices. Painting the day in a mixture of Eden and Andrew humor and creativity. I get to design my own uniform. No fear of being fired. Secure in the love of my Creator, the one he's entrusted me to as well as the one he's entrusted us with.

dear Emily,

Andrew's off for a Bible In Schools teaching seminar. Mama may wander over any minute and we'll have breakfast together. Zeke's been crying, tried cuddling and rocking him, tried dancing around. Running out of ideas and energy...put in my favorite cd and sat down. Zeke quieted and looking wide eyed in the direction of his Auntie Em's voice. I took over the job of shedding tears for awhile- happy tears, sad tears, loving tears...I hear the passion and the truth you used to so admire in Kieth Greens music, only with your beauty and gentle love. I see the earnest and genuine heart of the Emily I so love to sit and share hearts with. Now Zeke sleeps soundly and you sing on. I might be guilty of what I gave you a hard time for on our 16hr trip to Atlanta - repeats becoming a favorite button of mine. Thank you Emily! While I'm here enjoying a labor of your love, your off sharing the love and passion God's given you with children in Nicaragua. My heart hugs yours in prayer.

I love you!
~dolly

Musings for Father's Day

Today I caught Andrew gazing at Zeke's sweet sleeping form. I thought of how God miraculously delights to watch over us as the 'apple of His eye.' A son may try and do any number of things to make his papa proud just as we may try to perform for God's approval but even in the nothingness of sleeping we have God's perfect delight.

I love to see our Lord's fingerprints all over his creations and facets of his heart and character etched in each and every area of life. As I transitioned from singleness into knowing and eventually marrying Andrew- God took me on a very romantic and exciting journey into a deeper knowledge and experience of the mystery of 'Christ in you.' I found new joy in Christ's knowing and pursuing me as a groom and husband. God continues to deepen my walk with Him through marriage. My hope now with being a new mother is that God might open my eyes and heart again and again showing me more of Himself. Teaching me how we relate to Him as a Father and how He sees us as his children. I desire to be amazed and astounded afresh by verses like: 

"He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

"Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." 

Hebrews 12:6

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! " Matthew 7:12

Waking each night at Zeke's small cry teaches me of our utter dependence on God. All we can do is cry and trust he will hear and answer. I once thought my 'cries' were a nuisance to Abba but he tells us to cry out to Him and assures us that he will hear and answer. 

I'm a very sound sleeper. I've slept through many alarm clocks and once even fell off my top bunk bed without awaking. Yet even in the exhaustion following Zeke's birth my ears were tuned to his cry. I'd wake to the smallest squeal, grunt or cry. It makes me feel so very loved and cared for to think this is the same attention the King of Kings, Lord of all the earth gives to us his very own children.

And what a comfort and relief that God doesn't grow weary and overwhelmed as I so easily do in these early days of mothering. He doesn't worry and wonder if his babe's still breathing. He doesn't stand over the cradle with tears wondering how he's ever going to teach this child all that he'll need to know. 

God, 

You're the perfect father! 

You are Love.

You know all things! 

You are the teacher! 

You are the great physician! 

You are God and their is no other! 

In You we live and breathe and have our being! 

In You we rest! 

Watoto Ugandan Choir

On the evening of Zeke's 12th day he sat contentedly with Andrew and I listening to the joyous music coming from the 'Watoto'(children in Swahili). Last night the three of us ventured into Hamilton to hear Uganda's children's choir. The church building was packed and the African children sang and danced beautifully for their Maker! Each one robed in African attire with it's glorious colors. A few tears escaped my eyes as I looked down at a very loved and cared for little Zeke and then up to the eyes of a dozen orphaned children sharing their stories and celebrating the love and care of their heavenly Father.

I don't know what many of the words in the book of Revelation mean or how they will be revealed but I love the picture of hope and love painted in chapter 7 when the elders ask about the ones clothed in white robes and it is answered regarding them "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore

'they are before the throne of

God

and serve him day and

night in his temple;

he who sits on the

throne will spread his tent

over them.

Never again will they hunger;

never again will they thirst.

The sun will not beat upon

them,

nor any scorching heat.

For the Lamb at the center of

the throne will be their

shepherd ;

he will lead them to springs

of living water.

And God will wipe away

every tear from their

eyes.' 

Rev. 7:14-17

This is what I see for the children left orphaned by aids and toiling under the African sun for food in dumpsters. I see God stretching his tent over them, quenching their thirst and wiping each tear.

A birth story- Introducing Zeke Benaiah

"Unto us a son is given! Eden & I so blessed to greet a healthy Zeke Benaiah ("God will strengthen" who "God has made") at 10.52am this Sunday morning 5th June NZ time. 
Coming 3wks before due date Zeke was 3.45kg/7lb9oz. Love to all our family & friends, we are all well - thanks for your prayers :)" ~AJD


Zeke Benaiah has found a cozy place inside our home and deeply implanted his little self on our hearts. God had his hand on this precious babies birth and answered many prayers. I had selfishly put in a request for Zeke to be under eight pounds. God brought him three weeks early to manage that one. We were also praying that we would be able to have Zeke at the Birth Center, two days earlier and we would have had to have him at the hospital. 


Pain is a sad result of the fall but God uses even pain to teach us of his love and goodness. I'm so thankful for a strong and loving husband to labor along with and for a precious beautiful boy as a result. My love for both was heightened greatly through the experience. 


On Saturday night Andrew and I retired for a reasonably early night after a competitive couple rounds of golf(cards). At 3am I awoke to my waters breaking. Feelings of surprise, excitement, and fear collided inside me as the reality of the days event stretched before me. Andrew sat up, I leaned against him and he prayed. Andrew had been lying awake for a while and decided to get up for some prayer and his bible reading. I laid my head back on the pillow and tried to get some more rest before contractions started. It was no use. I prepared scrabbled eggs and toast for Andrew's and my early morning breakfast. Andrew added our stash of chocolate covered almonds and chocolate covered raisins to the feast. After eating Andrew started putting a bag of things together, loading the car seat into the car, and doing up the dishes. I started forming a mental list of the things I had planned to get done before Zeke's arrival. I suddenly felt the urge to dust the living-room. Andrew looked my way with a 'what in the world' sort of smile as I stood on a chair brushing away cob-webs from our wooden ceiling. Settling down on the bed we opened to read from our currant novel 'The Girl From Johnny Cake Hill.' 


At 5am I started to time contractions at 5minutes apart, they quickly increased in intensity and got closer together. Andrew paused from his reading to put pressure on my back or to mark down the time. Eventually he gave up reading altogether, contractions one after another at 2-3 minutes apart. We waited until 6am and then called Karen our midwife. She said she'd meet us at River Ridge Birth Center in Hamilton. 


Once at the Birth Center Karen told us that I was two centimeters dilated. She said it could be a while and suggested we go back home where we'd be most comfortable. A little discouraged we started back home, contractions had lessened a little but were still coming every couple minutes. I felt exhausted at the thought of going on like this for hours. I tried to rest but couldn't get comfortable between contractions. Andrew filled up a hot water pack, massaged my pressure points, and offered me sips of water. I tried getting in the shower. With only a fairly small capacity water heater in our flat, Andrew turned the tap off between contractions to make it last. I liked Andrew's suggestion of using our wonderful neighbor Janine's bathtub but I hated the thought of Andrew leaving me even for a moment to go and ask her. 

Eventually we made our way over there, the water felt wonderful. I wanted to keep quiet for the sake of Janine's children whom she had taken to the other side of the house. I always thought I'd be a graceful and quiet laborer only letting out pleasant sounds as someone gently dabbed my forehead with a cool cloth. Instead my throat gave way to the sounds that surged within me and the bellows didn't fit inside my fantasy. I tried to remember Jenny's advice on helpful sounds to make, instruction from our antenatal classes, and things I'd read on working with the contractions instead of fighting them. 


All of a sudden the pain switched from my stomach to my back and I felt the need to push. More than anything I wanted to be in safe hands at the birthing center. Janine came in with a phone in her hands and Andrew went for the number. During a contraction Janine checked and could see the tip of Zeke's head, thankfully I didn't know this at the time. Andrew played midwife coaching me into clothes and the car. I couldn't sit down so I lay down sideways in the back seat. 

I could feel God giving me strength for this last stretch. I spoke truth aloud in between contractions to keep fear from controlling my mind: "You know what I can take....You wouldn't give me any more than I can handle...Your giving me strength...It will be okay..." Andrew drove the 25 minute drive to the birth center with his hand behind the drivers seat for me to hold or squeeze. What a relief when we got there, I stepped out of the car in time for a strong pushing contraction. I held unto Andrew and five midwives rushed out with a wheel chair to help us in. Karen asked if I wanted to be checked or go straight to the bath. Straight into the bath, Andrew beside me, Karen coaching, three contractions and Zeke was out. Karen lifted his perfect little self unto my chest. Tears filled my eyes and throat as I looked down at my son, I looked up to find Andrew's eyes mirroring my own. We had done it and he was perfect! Thank you Lord!  

It was exciting and special to call and share Zeke's arrival with all of our wonderful family. I got to talk to Heidi working for the summer in Tennessee. After I shared Zeke's name and his birth story with her, she let out one of those 'Wow! God is so amazing!' sort of exclamations and told me that at the exact time of Zeke's birth she was sitting with a family who had two boys Zeke and Zeb. Their mother was sharing with Heidi the story of Zeke's birth and how miraculously God brought them these two boys. She and her husband were twenty-one years apart in age and Heidi said she fell in love with this family and there sweet story of God's goodness. It's so special to me that God gave Heidi this little window into Zeke's birth through a family so similar to our budding Dickson clan.

Featuring babies arrival marathon...35 down! 5 to go!

They have a saying here in New Zealand. Something about being barefoot, pregnant and tied to the kitchen sink. I'm featuring just such a life. ;) Baby says 'hi!' to all his wonderful Maryland family and a special 'hello' to Kelly whose been patiently pestering to get a good look for quite some time. :)

A Shower for the Baby!

When I look at the precious pile of baby gear on our living-room floor I can't help but feel like I'm about to play dolls. Just as Heidi, Em, Kirstie and I would plop arm fulls of blankets, dolls and stuffed animals onto the living-room floor, each on our section of blanket and play rafts or house. When I was six I got to use my long awaited buddy -Seth as one of my babies. He quickly outgrew the rest but he kept me the busiest and the happiest. Emily looked on enviously until Joseph came along to fill her arms and love tank. Now I await another little boy to fill Andrew's and my home and hearts.

quilt from Paula! 

 Lubby found a friend whose'almost as 'special' as hisself  ;)

 

Surrounded by wonderful (and all pregnant;) friends: Talia, Jess, me, and Janine! 

Yesterday I was showered upon with love and gifts from my Kiwi relatives, neighbors, and womens bible-study friends. It was overwhelming and special to sit in a room filled with ladies whom a year ago I didn't know and yet each one has taken me in as friend or family and are rejoicing with me over the little life God has formed inside me. I opened up a pile of presents, among them were many beautifully hand-made baby blankets, colorfully designed burping clothes, and darling hand-knit little hats. I feel so very blessed! I'm looking forward to busying myself in the next few weeks with cleaning, organizing, and setting all in place to welcome a third into our cozy home.