What God Cooked Up

God blows my mind sometimes with the blessings He works out. He did a God size job last week by bringing my Ohio family to New Zealand. In 2009 Kelly and I went through the Insight (INtensive Study of Integrated Global History and Theology) program together. We became fast friends as we learned and grew together. Kelly's family welcomed me into their home for the second semester - intensifying our sisterhood. Not only were Kelly and I going through a life changing learning experience together but we were also stuck with similar and unusual romances. I was hopelessly in love with a missionary in Uganda, Andrew whose homeland is New Zealand. While Kelly was in love with a missionary in Thailand, Judah, whose homeland is Australia. At the start of Insight we had slim hope in an unlikely dream and by the end I was nearly engaged and Kelly and Judah going strong. :)

You'll probably hate me if you hear how spoiled I've been by this loving family... Over the time I lived with their family we shared many meals and fun times together. I felt very much like part of the family as I went to church and family outings with them. I enjoyed going to the gym with Mrs Julie, we also went shopping and cross country skiing together. Mr Cook took Kelly and me snowmobiling and paid for us to go skydiving!! If that doesn't beat all, the four of us flew to Puerto Rico for Easter!

Emotionally it was perhaps one of the most packed and toughest years of my life. I journeyed through Insight, grappling with who I am and what I believe about God while my family at home seemed to be falling apart and I was trying to make the most life-altering decisions of my life - whether I should marry this man from across the world. Maybe God gave me a home with the Cooks and beautiful times together to lighten the load and get me out of my intense heart and mind struggles. They have truly been a gift from above.

Sunset hike at Waihi beach

So, this last month Kelly and Judah were on furlough next door in Australia, with her parents Wally and Julie visiting them. The three of them decided to hop this way for a reunion. It was so wonderful! Once again I feel ever so spoiled by my great God. I hold these three very dear to my heart. It was so special to be able to show them Zeke and Tazara and some of New Zealand. We took a beautiful coastal road to Waihi beach and enjoyed a night there in a friends batch. God gave us beautiful weather! They arrived on the sunniest warmest day in two weeks and left three days later when the fog started to come back. 

PS. In case its hard to figure out - the title comes from Andrew but the post is mine :)

When I was little....

When I was little I thought I was the only one who felt inadequate, that I didn't have what it takes, that I wouldn't make it, that life is too hard for a person like me. I've come to realize that most of us feel this. If not frequently then perhaps in times of great struggle and need. I'm so thankful for these scary feelings of inadequacy because they drove me to God's arms again and again. He met me in my need and loved me. I felt treasured and valued and loved and known in a way that is healing.

Because of my neediness I get to see God come through. I share this because I don't want others to miss the opportunities in pain and suffering and alone-ness to experience and know the comfort of God's power and nearness. This evening I was thinking about the times God and I have had together and the things He has done for me. I'm awed and amazed by His great love. I so desire you to know the pleasure and joy of His presence. In the psalms God says 'Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.' If we want to drink deeply of our Father's love we have to open wide.

ps. I'm still little.

Capturing Life

He's just under three feet tall and he keeps his domain in good order. In gumboots and hat he's his own boss. He likes to sleep in his sleeper bag with two cars and his blankie. He has an emphatic "yes" and is passionate about "no." He studies his notebook and reads himself books sitting on his wooden stool but the only sentence found in his vocabulary is "no nurse."

She wakes up with a huge smile. She's determined not to be left out and stays close to the action by pushing with her small toes and pulling on her left elbow. She has rolls in the thighs and long eye lashes. She lets toys be taken and doesn't mind being stepped upon now and then but she'll let you hear about it if she needs attention.

He's six feet something tall. He reads a lot. Through the cracked door of his study in the morning I spy him on his knees with bible and journal before him. He speaks gun, car, rugby, motorbike, geography, poetry and theology. His back causes him pain. Many days we can eat lunch together. We talk easily. We laugh watching the kids. We cry sometimes too, especially me (being a woman and all).

Life is precious. I soak up the moments but they pile on top of each other burying one another. The days pass slowly and yet things change so fast. I can't hold on to it but I can accept and embrace and live the days as they pass.

While pushing the pram I was thinking about how much I'm changing and how each of my siblings, parents, nieces and nephews are changing too and yet I'm missing it. I'm missing those precious moments that make up their lives because I've chosen to be here in New Zealand a world away from them. How could I have chosen to miss out on the lives of those my heart grew up wrapped around? It's simple and yet it's complicated. I loved Andrew. I still love him. I love the children God's given us and I'm enjoying the beautiful and messy moments of life and love he's giving us. Love involves risk and sacrifice. You can't love without it. Love is not easy but love is what every heart craves.  

It's the same with our Lord. Many proclaim "Jesus loves you" and yes it's true but he also demands everything. He asks for everything but He has also given everything...His very life. He didn't die for a now and then friendship when we feel like it, he died so that he could give us life in Him. Unless we leave all and follow him we get none of Him.

I see the paint strokes of my Creator sweep across the changing Autumn trees. I learn of him as I see his image crafted into my son. I glimpse his tender heart as I watch Tazara play. He reveals Himself to me in an abundance of ways...and I long for ALL of HIM! 

Happy in God.

SHOUT FOR JOY IN THE LORD,

O YOU RIGHTEOUS!

PRAISE BEFITS THE UPRIGHT.

(ps. 33:1)

God likes to see his righteous ones happy. It's fitting. It looks good on them. God is glorified by the praises of those whose lives reflect their love and devotion. Beauty of soul pours forth in song and life.