Capturing Life

He's just under three feet tall and he keeps his domain in good order. In gumboots and hat he's his own boss. He likes to sleep in his sleeper bag with two cars and his blankie. He has an emphatic "yes" and is passionate about "no." He studies his notebook and reads himself books sitting on his wooden stool but the only sentence found in his vocabulary is "no nurse."

She wakes up with a huge smile. She's determined not to be left out and stays close to the action by pushing with her small toes and pulling on her left elbow. She has rolls in the thighs and long eye lashes. She lets toys be taken and doesn't mind being stepped upon now and then but she'll let you hear about it if she needs attention.

He's six feet something tall. He reads a lot. Through the cracked door of his study in the morning I spy him on his knees with bible and journal before him. He speaks gun, car, rugby, motorbike, geography, poetry and theology. His back causes him pain. Many days we can eat lunch together. We talk easily. We laugh watching the kids. We cry sometimes too, especially me (being a woman and all).

Life is precious. I soak up the moments but they pile on top of each other burying one another. The days pass slowly and yet things change so fast. I can't hold on to it but I can accept and embrace and live the days as they pass.

While pushing the pram I was thinking about how much I'm changing and how each of my siblings, parents, nieces and nephews are changing too and yet I'm missing it. I'm missing those precious moments that make up their lives because I've chosen to be here in New Zealand a world away from them. How could I have chosen to miss out on the lives of those my heart grew up wrapped around? It's simple and yet it's complicated. I loved Andrew. I still love him. I love the children God's given us and I'm enjoying the beautiful and messy moments of life and love he's giving us. Love involves risk and sacrifice. You can't love without it. Love is not easy but love is what every heart craves.  

It's the same with our Lord. Many proclaim "Jesus loves you" and yes it's true but he also demands everything. He asks for everything but He has also given everything...His very life. He didn't die for a now and then friendship when we feel like it, he died so that he could give us life in Him. Unless we leave all and follow him we get none of Him.

I see the paint strokes of my Creator sweep across the changing Autumn trees. I learn of him as I see his image crafted into my son. I glimpse his tender heart as I watch Tazara play. He reveals Himself to me in an abundance of ways...and I long for ALL of HIM!