Carelations, Consciousness & Counseling

What people think and why they do what they do has long interested me. How long so a story for another post perhaps. Right now it's neat having come full circle back to fulfilling that desire as I find myself on the cusp of completing my Masters degree together with actually counseling real people since February this year (and more neat having Eden studying counseling papers too as she is able).

Helping reveal to clients/seekers what are the underlying, often unconscious, motivations/desires of the heart which eventually drive their conscious thought life and then visible actions is terribly tricky at times but always interesting whether we're leaping ahead through fresh insights or wading through the goop of denial.

That some well-intentioned folk rubbish counseling is par for the course of course. They aren't aware of their unconscious so in their expert opinion it simply doesn't exist. Me? I believe any life examined and reflected upon would disagree with such a blunt diagnosis.

Simple case in point follows.

In July 2010 I was looking for a new car. My reliable old Corolla had done a 6yr 100,000+km long dash with this Dickson so I'd let it pass to a friend who'd asked to buy it. Cash in the hand always good eh. Having a more suitable set of wheels for when Eden and I returned married from the USA at the end of September was the real motivation though.

I decided a Japanese station wagon with 4WD would do the trick nicely. Not an SUV as they be too pricey and thirsty despite the attraction of better off-road ability. Not a 2WD wagon as I wanted to be able to cross a wet paddock or scoot a beach given the chance. Definitely a wagon so we could sleep in the back if desired. Also wanted to be able to cart my folding Portabote on the roof and all it's seats and motor in the rear with the backseats down. Eden's up for adventure and 4WD helps that.

I hadn't found anything good in Hamilton and decided to check out a bunch of 4WD wagons selling privately all over Auckland that I'd been watching a while on TradeMe. All nice looking 4WD Toyota Carina's except for one black Honda Orthia. Never seen one before but it ticked the boxes. There was definitely something really attractive about it which I couldn't quite name when viewing the pics even though I'd actually started to swing towards considering an SUV like the Nissan Mistral over a 4WD car.

Well I got myself up to Auckland and checked out the Honda first. The young Russian guy selling it on behalf of his non English-speaking Russian friends absent wife didn't engender me to believing the deal was legit. Liked the car though. Me being me though, I'd planned to carry on and inspect as many of the Carina's as I could over the rest of the day before deciding which car was the best deal overall. I've never been in a hurry in my car buying history (except for here and that turned out great). But this time I soon surprised myself by laying my usual purchasing program aside in favour of the new logic that I liked the car enough to buy it and the price was agreeable so why carry on searching? Just do it! If I could make sure the sale was legit and the money transaction traceable (in case this smooth Russian was actually as mafia as he appeared) then I'd buy. I found ways of achieving that which they agreed to and the purchase was made.

No regrets. Our Honda's been great value by tar or by sand. One memorable trip was our taking Eden's visiting sister Jenny, her daughter Dassah, and Eden's cousin Calicoe up around the Coromandel Peninsula of a weekend in January 2011 at the height of summer. Brilliant weather, beautiful bays and beaches, and bubbling company to boot. But this big boy didn't realise he was in for a revelation as well.

Homeward bound after 2 nights in Whitianga we pulled in to a shady spot next to the Te Kouma wharf on Waipapa Bay for lunch. Twenty minutes and a full tummy later I noticed an early 90's Toyota Carib pull into the carpark and stop right behind our Orthia. So dark a green it looked black in the shade. Station wagon. 4WD. Alloy wheels. The spitting image of the black Toyota Carib that I'd used to get me around and about for much of the first year I'd been in Uganda. The car that took Eden, Chad, Megan and I up to the top of Mt Wanale for the adventure of a loud trip after rocks tore off the muffler, a superb sunset, and a hold-your-breath-moment mix-up with a circumcision party on the way back. Same car Milton and I drove all the way down to Tanzania with Eden along for a 10-day adventure that included chasing Giraffes as part of traversing much of Tarangire National Park; a long-time favourite haunt of mine.

Those warm fuzzy memories replayed as I eyed over the Te Kouma Carib resting just metres away immediately behind our wagon. It was only seeing these two right next to each other that I became suddenly aware how much my black alloy-wheeled 4WD wagon was a heck of a lot like the Carib of  fun days in Africa with Eden fame! The proverbial penny having dropped I stopped to pick it up for a look reflecting on how I'd always felt good whenever I'd browsed through the online pics of the Orthia posted on TradeMe. I'd gone back numerous times for another gander cf. any of the other 4WD wagons that were just as attractive feature and price wise. No, it wasn't a early model Carib but it had looked more like the Carib than any of the Toyota's due to it's colour and it's alloy wheels. The associations we make when we're not making them. Yet particular personality people persist pooh-poohing the possibility that their past experiences, and the good or bad emotions associated with such, have any effect on the decisions they make today. Yeah right.

Ninety-mile Beach, Northland, NZ. Jan 2011.

Mamire, Tarangire National Park, TZ. Jan 2009.

There on the green Te Kouma grass I took note how my sub-conscious played a major role in my choice of car without my (conscious) knowledge. Can't say I was shocked. Can say this insight made me glad I was already set to start Biblical Counseling studies at GTC in a couple months time. That felt right too - and 2yrs later still does. The real realization bonus however is that now it's "conscious" the good vibe associations are no longer a vague undefined feeling but actual thinkable thoughts. Meaning I can now thank God for those blessed Africa by Carib times whenever I see my Honda :)