Love and War

This is an angry rampage of mine back in 2009 when I was trying to get Andrew out of my head and heart.

I tried. I failed. God intervened. I succeeded (in giving him up). God gave him back to me :) We were married a year and a month after this was written.

I remember lying in the grass at Frederick Community College as Joli sat her course (we were carpooling for time together). My mind was getting more and more frustrated and confused as my thoughts went round and round so I pulled out my journal and started scribbling:

           22 July 09
O for the crime of love
guard your heart with all diligence
lest love stray in
listen to the wise words of people who say
'It's all fantasy'
Listen to the hurts, observe the pain
Take every thought captive
lest love wonder in
love a child, you'll be wrung
love a sister, you'll be hurt
love a parent, you'll be disappointed
but worst of all, agonies beyond measure
watch out for the love of a man
unknowingly armed for the worst attacks
The heart knows no crime as love.
The heart knows no joy as love
God is love
It cost him the life of his son
Would He say it's worth it?
To reconcile a people to Himself
a stiff-necked, disobedient, immoral, idolatrous people
His own special people, treasured, honored, loved, delighted in
Oh God, thank you for loving
and thank you for placing love in our hearts
May I love you heart, soul, mind and strength!

14-Two-14

For my one and only lovEdenjoyfullnessoul!

It's Valentine's Day

Come what may

May passed along

Her silent song

Spoke by Super Powers

Deep pressing showers

Drowned out weeds

Sprouted flower seeds

Up from the hush

Swinging Fall dance rush

Pass Steelers play

Sure made my day

Thrill chills of yore

Love landing more.

Emmanuel-broken fetter

So 14two14's better

Every dawn reveals

Always you I feels

Thinging along

Thing so right.

;-pikipikipoet

A Week in Pictures

We've been without a camera for about six months now. In the last couple weeks I've taken a few pictures of the kids on my phone. Between squabbles and fights these two have a lot of fun together. It seems they get the most fun out of mud, rain, water and playing in the car.

How do you say no when they're having so much fun?

Pretending to be grown-ups.

Snuggling in the rocking chair for a "show."

Who needs a kiddy pool when you've got a bucket?

Hiding from Grand-dad in his burrow of pillows.

Fun in the rain!

My crazy water baby.

Momentarily clean.

I got those stools in Karamoja thinking one day they'd make a cute toddler table. Now I've got two cute toddlers to perch on them. I'm afraid however that the stools aren't very considerate when it comes to balancing small uncoordinated people.

Hold on for your dear life Tazzy!

They could happily twiddle away hours on this swing.

I know it's not the greatest of photo's but I just love how happy they are and how Zeke is looking at Taz. :)

He's actively growing up but he still needs his Mama when the going gets tough.

A favorite pic from my phone...Kirstie's message for us....we found after she left.

A Quiet Heart

This morning Heidi and I were talking over Voxer. She shared an insight about how we tend to seek out the highs of life even from one cup of coffee(or tea) to the next. We got talking about ambitions and how we can seek to do great things but perhaps the hardest is when we're just plodding along doing daily "insignificant" life as unto the Lord. I've really grown to respect the woman/men in my life who don't have ambitious dreams to change the world, they fly(walk) under the radar as they faithfully and joyfully live in quietness and contentment from day to day. It reminds me of Mama's favorite hymn which she wrote as a prayer in the prayer books she made for each one of us.

Father, I know that all my life
Is portioned out for me,
The changes that are sure to come,
I do not fear to see;
I ask Thee for a present mind
Intent on pleasing Thee.

I would not have a restless will
That hurries to and fro,
Seeking for some great thing to do,
Or secret thing to know;
I would be treated as a child,
And guided where I go.

I ask Thee for the daily strength,
To none that ask denied,
A mind to blend with outward life
While keeping at Thy side;
Content to fill a little space,
If Thou be glorified.

In service which Thy will appoints,
There are no bonds for me;
My secret heart is taught the truth
That makes Thy children free;
A life of self-renouncing love,
Is one of liberty.
(hymn by Anna Laetitia Waring)

One Year in Five Minutes.

I came across my five minute speech for when I graduated INSIGHT in May of 2010. It's as true now as it was then. Thank you God for your goodness!

      I came to Insight expecting to learn more of God and missions and cultures but I hadn't expected to learn so much of God's intimate love of me. Each time I told God I wanted to serve and love others I heard from Him "Eden, first you need to be loved by me. You still have fear. I desire to perfect you with my love. You still walk as a slave. I want to teach you what it means to be a daughter. You desire to comfort others, first let me comfort you." God has been drawing me close to His heart and loving me deeply through the body of Christ here at Insight and through His Word. He's been teaching me about fear. I've learned that the thing you fear consumes you. The thing you fear is all you can think about, nothing else matters - it becomes your all consuming passion. Abba desires to be this source of all our attention, our one consuming passion. Once He has all attention, His perfect love drives out our fear. First John says there is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear. He says, the one who fears has not yet been perfected by love. His love is powerful, it is personal, it is healing.
      In the last months this perfect love has freed me from fear, it's freeing me from anxiety, worry, and insecurity. It's released me to a joy I hadn't known. I want to share with you something really simple and really profound. I used to surrender my life to God and it was the scariest thing I could do. I'd get on my knees each evening and sign my name in the back of my Bible. It was like opening my life to the worst and scariest things I could imagine. But now, I surrender and it makes me want to laugh and sing and dance. Not because I know the road ahead, or I think it will be all paved and wonderful. But because I know God loves me and so I can trust Him.
      I don't know what I wanted for the nations, and the oppressed, and the hurting before now. But now, I look into the eyes of a person - I look into your eyes tonight - and my hearts cry is that you would know this love and that your joy may be full.

>500!

Here early this Saturday morning to ask our readers - meaning you! - to pray that God would see fit to bless me (Andrew) with at least 500hrs of face-to-face counselling time by the end of this year. The main reason we moved to Auckland a year ago was my needing 100hrs for my counselling degree's internship. Accepting the invitation to work here as a counsellor-in-training while completing my last papers seemed the way to go compared to staying where we were otherwise quite happy to be living.
I praise God that He saw fit to bless me with 135hrs by the close of 2013 - above and beyond that needed :) So the remaining minimum balance required, by the folk where God seems to be directing us to head towards from here on out, is 500 - 135 = 365hrs. Of course any amount over and above that would be very much appreciated. Also, please pray for more couples counselling, including some pre-marital counselling opportunities, to be coming down the pipeline soon. Thank you. May our good Father bless your endeavours too as we daily live, move, and breathe in Him!