Love and War

This is an angry rampage of mine back in 2009 when I was trying to get Andrew out of my head and heart.

I tried. I failed. God intervened. I succeeded (in giving him up). God gave him back to me :) We were married a year and a month after this was written.

I remember lying in the grass at Frederick Community College as Joli sat her course (we were carpooling for time together). My mind was getting more and more frustrated and confused as my thoughts went round and round so I pulled out my journal and started scribbling:

           22 July 09
O for the crime of love
guard your heart with all diligence
lest love stray in
listen to the wise words of people who say
'It's all fantasy'
Listen to the hurts, observe the pain
Take every thought captive
lest love wonder in
love a child, you'll be wrung
love a sister, you'll be hurt
love a parent, you'll be disappointed
but worst of all, agonies beyond measure
watch out for the love of a man
unknowingly armed for the worst attacks
The heart knows no crime as love.
The heart knows no joy as love
God is love
It cost him the life of his son
Would He say it's worth it?
To reconcile a people to Himself
a stiff-necked, disobedient, immoral, idolatrous people
His own special people, treasured, honored, loved, delighted in
Oh God, thank you for loving
and thank you for placing love in our hearts
May I love you heart, soul, mind and strength!