Walking Country

I used to walk the country Gordonton roads in silence. I'd unload my thoughts and enjoy the healing solitude. I'd pray or cry or praise or sing and be washed in the fellowship and peace of a constant Savior. Before long a front pack joined our walks and then a stroller which soon turned into a double. Before we left for Auckland I'd pack my babes in the stroller, they'd often fall asleep, now and then a cry would escape but mostly pure enjoyment.

It's good to be back in Gordonton and enjoy long walks with the sights sounds and smells. Zeke and Tazara have filled and changed my world in so many ways. My silence is interrupted by "Mama LOOK it's a butterfly!! I've seen SIX little little butterflys!" from under Zeke's hat. "Can we see the dead bird again?!" A minute later my speed walk is halted by "Can we climb the rock mountains Mama??" There little thoughts and questions demand response and interaction. I won't usually take much notice of the cows munching grass by the fence. Zeke and Tazara take note of their every move and have to see if they can get close enough to 'pet' the creatures (or else try and scare them with a mighty roar). Tazara's vocabulary is expanding hourly as she lets the world know everything that is going on inside her head and without. Most of her scenery is blocked by Zeke's stroller seat but she'll happily sing a tune from her limited perch.

I love the enthusiasm and fresh joy that bubbles out of this two and three year old. I don't get God to myself anymore but God's placed two little people in my life that I can't ignore. They shout so many insights and lessons at me if only I will take time to look and listen and remember that the message and the messenger are from my loving Savior.

Tazara after "picking" blueberries. Yum!:)

Fearfully and Wonderfully Different

I'd like to home school but surround myself with non home-schoolers. I'd like to have a good many kids but mix in crowds that have none, one or two. I like vanilla ice cream but my best of friends are chocolate lovers. In the last couple years I've learned so much from people whom I am very different from. People who live from a different perspective. Ride in a different stage of life. Or talk a different lingo. I've grown to respect and find great insight from people whom in the first meeting I might be tempted to write off as “different” from me or “wrong.” It's been a humbling and extremely helpful experience! Growing up, I often saw people who were different as wrong or less godly. It's shameful and embarrassing to admit but it's true and I think many people operate this way. We tend to hang out with those that think like us because it's more comfortable. Christians form their bubbles. Home-schoolers form their cliques etc. Andrew and I were reading aloud Rosaria Butterflield's autobiography last night. In it she makes a compelling statement “...where everybody thinks the same nobody thinks very much.” I don't want to lose my convictions or change decisions in order to mix with more people or be less of an oddball. Instead I'd like to conscientiously learn from and place myself in the influence of people that are different from myself so that I'll be challenged to grow and strengthen my beliefs. I don't want to be afraid of conflicts or feel threatened by differences. So many of the people I respect have the peace, security and assurance to live this way. I wonder if this is one of the privileges of growing in maturity in Christ. Hebrews 5:14 describes the mature as those who through constant use of God's word have learned to distinguish between good and evil. They can take the good without being led astray or corrupted by the bad. 

I'd like Zeke and Tazara to know that we have standards but that other people have different standards and are not necessarily more or less godly for it. I want them to see Andrew and me respecting people and loving people where ever we might find them. I'd like them to see us changing and growing (and repenting!) as we learn new things and cross paths with various people and information. I want them to ask good questions and not be afraid to evaluate. Bringing everything before a loving Heavenly Father who is not intimidated by any question or person or lifestyle. I believe Jesus modeled this attitude. Although He was/is God incarnate it's surprising how many times he didn't Lord it over people or jump in with judgments and criticisms. He wasn't afraid to be bold or despised for speaking truth He often placed himself in the position of learner in order to get to know the heart of the one he interacted with.

Farewell in Time.

Heidi and Emily are flying through the sky bound for Maryland. We've had so many precious hours to talk, dream, pray, worship, live life, reflect on 2014, and contemplate 2015. It's been such a gift! Now we each march (with anticipation) into unknowns- many details and circumstances of the new year are yet to fall into place and yet so many of the crucial things we do know. Too often I get caught up in the drama and ambition of big plans that the important "little" things are left neglected. Seeking God's heart. The relationships in front of me. Raising Zeke and Tazara. Prayer. Lord, may we be faithful to you this year. May we not miss anything you have in store for us in 2015. Pull us close to your heart. Use us to channel your grace and goodness. This world is hungry and hurting Abba, we need you. Please prepare willing hearts and use your people to do your work. I'd like to blog each week this year. If this is your desire too, guide what I say, think and write. Place me in connection with the people you want me to know.