My need. His supply.

I've been feeling snowed under lately. It's difficult to draw near to God when you don't know your own heart. I've been looking for some times of solitude to be still, open my heart before God and allow him to search and know me. Sunday evening was one of those times. I was flipping back and forth from Psalm 91 and Psalm 139. Both deeply meaningful psalms that have to do with warfare, oppression and God's intimate knowing of us. I've felt under attack and there have been places I've been afraid to let my mind go. 

As I meditated on these passages I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down verse eleven of psalm 139 at the top:' “If I say “Surely the darkness will cover me and the light about me be night.” Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.' Below this I wrote a column for fears/hurts/blocks to intimacy. I then listed the places that are scary for me to go. The fears and hurts that I don't know what to do with and I don't like to approach or look at or talk about or poke at. With these before me I again read Psalm 91 and 139 allowing God's truth, light and comfort to speak into my fears. 

I was reminded that this is familiar and comfortable ground for God. What is dark and scary and threatening to me is not so with God. The darkness is as light to Him. He lovingly fashioned my days and tenderly put together my life. It is in the environment of these fears, hurts, circumstances, that God desires me to flourish. He's made a way for me to flourish but I can't find it without His help. In John 6 Jesus describes himself as the living bread that we feed on to find life. This is the kind of self-counseling I need God to apply to my heart by His Spirit and through His word over and over, day by day. This is one nibble of truth applied to my story. I hope that God ministers to you also with His life and light in your times of need. (And when He does, I'd LOVE to hear about it! )