Spoiler alert: Jesus Straightened my Teeth!

Somewhere around the age of 12, I visited the dentist where they sealed my doom. I needed braces. An appointment was made with the orthodontist. I waited in anguish. And prayed. I'd heard stories of getting braces and the pain involved. I'd also heard of the expense and I felt for my parents. My prayers sounded something like this. "Jesus, I don't understand why I need to have a dentist fix my teeth. You're the Great Physician. You could do it yourself. Please straighten my teeth." I did a fair bit of begging. The kind my kids do to me today and it drives me batty.

The day on the calendar got closer and my Mom took me off to see the dreaded man in the white apron. First the X-rays were taken. Here's where the surprise came. The orthodontist pulled up the X-ray sent through from my dentist a couple months prior and compared the two. My teeth had straightened so considerably in those few months (or weeks, can't remember) that he decided I no longer needed the braces. I walked out of that office one happy girl!

Moral of the story:  Nag. Nag. Nag. (When it comes to prayer)
Jesus is still in the healing business.
Jesus loves to give good gifts to his children.
Jesus is our Great Physician.

"You have not because you have not."

How many of God's gifts go unopened because we don't ask?!

"And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" (Luke 11:9-13)

I believe we're supposed to take Jesus at his word. To believe in his love and his goodness enough to ask for the impossible and the lovely and good and perfect that seems so far out of our reach but so close and easy for Him.

Thank you Jesus for the miracles you so freely gave and continue to give. Thank you for your Holy Spirit whom you died to give us so that we never have to be separated from you, your presence, your love and your power. 

Back In The Game

Thank you Jesus for six weeks with my family in Maryland over Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was a precious and beautiful gift. I cherish every moment!

It was difficult saying goodbye's to all of my family in America; not knowing when we'll see them again and knowing so much of their and our lives go by without each other. In the week of our return back to New Zealand Andrew and I watched The Hobbit together. There were a number of things that stood out and touched me.

The show starts with a simple, selfish little hobbit; Bilbo Baggins. Gandolf however, has decided this little fellow is the perfect one for the job he has in mind. He invites the hobbit on a dangerous adventure. The rest of the crew is made up of warriors and heroes who have accomplished impossible feats. Some of the others doubt Biblo is made of the right stuff, Bilbo has doubts himself at times. Gandolf never wavers in his confidence and love for Bilbo, he knows without a shadow of a doubt Bilbo is the one for the job and he can and will accomplish it. The journey twists and turns and together the tribe overcome impossible odds.

After being separated from the group and almost deserting Bilbo comes back and finds a few of his fellow comrades talking about him. He then enters into the dialogue with simple and beautiful words that pierced me. “I do, I miss my home. I miss my chair, my garden, my fireplace... That's where I belong. ..That's why I'm here. You don't have one. It was taken from you. And I'll help you win it back if I can.”

In a way, this is every Christian's story. If we know the love of God and have found home in his embrace we can never be really content elsewhere. Here on earth, we don't get a permanent home but we get to help people to find home, to belong, to take back what the enemy has stolen from them – an identity, a belonging, a home.

I've had the privilege of enjoying a wonderful family here on earth. I know what it feels like to be perfectly at ease, to be loved, accepted, cherished and celebrated. I know what it feels like to be surrounded by brothers and sisters who love me and whom I adore. I don't need to impress or perform, I can just be. I don't need to say the right thing or figure out what's appropriate or appreciated. It's home, it's family. You can do no wrong.

I do. I miss my home. I miss my family. I miss that taste of heaven I was given at Christmas time. But that's why I'm here. I'm on the adventure Abba's invited me on because so many people have never tasted of real family or genuine love and belonging. I have. I've tasted in my biological family of the love Jesus says believers are to be known by. We can't give what we haven't first received. We first have to receive God's love and grace and experience his inexpressible uncontainable inexhaustible love. Family is a rare, marvellous and sadly scarce concept in 2019.

The Hobbit inspired me to see some of the bigger picture of what God is doing. I've written at the top of my planner: Win back “home” for others! Introduce people to the LOVE of family. You are the one for the job!

To be honest I wasn't impressed with Bilbo at the start of the show. But I can sure relate to him! I love that Gandalf had more confidence and assurance in Bilbo than his actions or words merited. It reminds me of how God sees us. Only He knows what He's made us capable of and if we listen to his words and accept His invitations the possibilities are limitless.

I don't know why God asked a funny little person like me to up and leave all I hold dear to be married to an incredible husband from New Zealand and live so far away from so many that my heart loves for who knows how long. Sometimes it makes more sense to me to live over there and sow into the many and valuable relationships there that are already in existence. Of course, now that I've lived here for more than eight years my heart would ache no matter where we set up tent. But I do know that if I channel the missing and the love into praying for those who've never tasted it; to those lonely, suffering and alone. Then certainly they're put to much better use than feeling sorry for myself. And knowing a touch of the God I serve He can take these meagre prayers and He can do more than I could ask, think or imagine to accomplish His good and perfect purposes.

Bilbo was in the company of ruffians and warriors. They knew how to fight and how to fend for themselves but they'd lost touch with home, family and how to live in times of peace. They'd been wandering for so long they forgot how to be cared for. Bilbo had this one simple thing to offer. He wasn't a fighter. He wasn't bloodthirsty. But he knew how to belong. How to depend on others. He knew how to stand by those he grew to love. This bonded all of them to him.

Lord Jesus, you made us for home. You made us to belong. To be a part of a big beautiful marvellous family. You created us to give and receive your love and to taste of that love in our relationships with one another. It's an incredible plan Jesus. Recreate your love here in us your people. Invite more people in. Surround those alone and in the dark with the warmth and light of your presence and your people. May we taste and see your goodness.

Has Christmas found you?

Wise men bring gifts. Angels descend from heaven to sing on earth. Shepherds leave flocks to rush into Bethlehem. Anna prophesies in the temple. Simeon can now die in peace.

A Saviour is born.

In Christ we enter the holy of holies.
In Christ every spiritual blessing.
In Christ all things made new.
In Christ every tear wiped away.
In Christ washed clean.
In Christ chains fall off.
In Christ redeemed, restored, made whole, made complete.
In Christ peace on earth.

Do you believe it? Do you know this Saviour? Do you know these blessings? Do you live in this joy?

On the last day of the feast in Jerusalem Christ Jesus stood up and cried out "If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said, 'Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.' "

Do you believe Jesus? Do rivers of living water flow out of your heart?

If not, let us enter the throne room in prayer and not leave until rivers of living water flow. We need these waters and Jesus came and lived and died and is alive again so that we can have them.

God, show us our need. Let us feel our thirst that we would come to you and believe and be filled to overflowing with all you came to give us.

Don't let December 25th pass without the world knowing Her Saviour. And joining in the song of the Angels.

Be praised here this Christmas. Be celebrated here. Be glorified here. You are welcome here. Immanuel - God with us! Let your life flow here. Let your blessings flow here.

Melt Down - Mine and Abrielle's

Abrielle's been a trooper! Spanning continents on the very day of her first toddling steps. Maryland to New Zealand. Summer to winter. Day to night. She's braved the whole adventure really well and only picked up a small winter bug.

After about eight days back in New Zealand. Andrew was out at a Christian Counselors of NZ gathering. Zeke and Taz were in bed at Nana and Grand-dads. And Abrielle and I were in the unit together. She was happily crawling around and playing until about 8pm. As she started getting a little fussy I began preparing her for bed like any other evening. Only this night her fussiness turned to crying and then out of control screaming. I tried calming her down. I tried letting her cry it out in bed thinking her just over tired. I decided I didn't want her to be alone in her distress so I held her and spoke consoling words to her, she thrashed around and pushed away in confusion. I told her she was safe and mama's here and I'm not going anywhere. I don't think she has any idea what's going on in her little body, heart and head but if she could verbalize I wonder if she'd say " where's my bed in the pink alcove and where's Grandma and uncle Joe, Pop-pop and my loving Aunties? Where's my high chair in the corner of the kitchen and the bustling house of people that cherish me. Over night she'd lost them all and has no idea why or how or where they've gone. The surroundings, the weather, even the time of day is all completely new to her. Her hard out crying got me going for a while. Thinking about all her little body and heart is coping with and all the people we won't see in a long while. A place so familiar and so far away. Have we come home or left home?

Andrew got back and she wanted him. A familiar and loving presence. She settled down for a while and then she wanted me. I took her into the bedroom and laid down exhausted. She crawled up and laid her soft little face on my cheek and forehead, completely relaxed. I could hear her precious wee heart saying " I still don't know where the heck my home is. But your face looks pretty darn familiar and I feel pretty safe with you so I guess I'll rest right here for a while."

My heart echo's the same cry. God, could I get that close to you. Sometimes sitting in your lap just isn't close enough. Could I span the distance and rest my head on your cheek. The world is big and people far. I look at your face and I've found home. In your eyes I know where I belong.

A Birth Story - Introducing Abrielle Melinda

I was more afraid going into child birth this time. I knew God wanted me to surrender myself to His care and trust him with the outcome. I didn't know if I had to surrender because it would be especially difficult or just because he's God and I'm not. I couldn't decide whether we should plan for the birth center or the hospital. I tried to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for a sweet and straight forward delivery but my mind and body played games with me. I hit 38 weeks and started remembering Tazara's birth and taking it a step further. It didn't help that baby was posterior and head not engaging. I reasoned that baby is probably even bigger than last time and doesn't fit so can't turn around and get out. The book Andrew and I were reading happened to mention a story of a mother and baby dying from a posterior birth gone wrong and I heard a number of stories and statistics that were not in my favor. I'm usually one to assume the best but this time the worst was winning out in most of my dreams and plannings.

After my blog post ('Lessons Through Tears' written in June) I felt surrounded by the love and prayers of friends and family. My due date came and went, some of my fears becoming realities but I felt bathed in the the prayers of God's people. On Sunday 5th July I was blessed by the thoughtfulness and prayers of people at church, despite feeling sore and huge and overdue I was glad I had gone. Afterwards we stopped at Hamilton Lake and Andrew walked around with Zeke and Tazara. I sat in the car with my bible and journal and told God about all the horror stories and negative statistics I'd heard lately and asked him to lift me up out of all my fears. I talked to him about how hard the waiting was and asked him about his desires for me. It was a pleasant and comforting conversation and I really enjoyed some favorite psalms.

On Monday morning I went to get the groceries as usual hoping once again that they would be the last I'd get for a while. On the way home Tazara and I climbed Taupiri mountain together. I tried running up and down the stairs a few times (making up for the time it takes a two year old to climb) as I'd been doing for the last month or so hoping it might get baby down, turned or further along the journey.

After dinner I noticed my contractions were coming consistently 10 minutes apart. Through stories, devotions and kids bed time I prayed they'd keep coming and be effective. Some were quite strong. Andrew put two movies behind his back and had me choose one. As Andrew and I laid together watching Downton Abby I groaned now and then and had to change positions through the sharper contractions.

After the movie Andrew had some stuff to do online. I got on all fours and tried to help the contractions along. They still were only coming every ten minutes and only mildly painful. I was hesitant to say anything to Andrew because of the emotional roller-coaster of false labor I'd been riding for weeks. He asked if I was alright a couple times so I eventually told him. We got together my last minute list and I encouraged Andrew to try and get some sleep. I laid down getting up every ten minutes. It seemed a long time between contractions and a couple times I thought they might be slowing or stopping all together. They were lasting 2-2 1/2 minutes and were sharply painful both in my stomach and back. I tried all the positions I know to get things moving along and then flopped on the bed exhausted - half hoping labor would hold off a while. I might have fallen asleep for a couple minutes when the waters broke and gushed (12am).

Andrew jumped into action, he seemed excited that the long awaited event was finally here - things were happening. His energy was reassuring and reminded that I was excited too.  I wasn't planning to call my midwife or go to the birth center until contractions were 2-3 minutes apart. I'd heard a lot about long labors with posterior babies so I climbed into the bath. The contractions were immediately considerably more painful and coming one after another.

Tazara got up and meandered her way to the toilet then took her sweet time sitting there. Not wanting to traumatize her I tried to hurry her along. Un-phased by my strange behaviour and noises she cheerfully told me "It's coming mama. It's coming." How true! She did her thing and then tottled off back to bed and dreamland. After Andrew tucked her in I told him we better get a move on. Andrew poured hot water down my back in between his comings and goings (loading the car and telling Dad Dickson we were leaving.)

When we started for town I began praying baby would wait until we got there. I'm not very good on the phone ordinarily and I'm especially uncomfortable with the idea of talking to anyone when I'm in labor but Andrew was driving and I realized no one was expecting us so I called the birth center. I asked them to get a bath ready for us. The gal who answered said I couldn't get in the door without my midwife. At my pleading she agreed to call Therese for me (I'd texted her from home with no reply).

We got there. They let us in. The bath wasn't ready. Therese wasn't there so the staff midwife asked me preliminary questions. I was holding myself together, holding out for the bath and aching for the relief of the warm water. Therese arrived and let me get in the tub even though not quite ready. I was so relieved. She asked if I felt ready to push. I could've started pushing in the car. With Zeke and Tazara's labors I couldn't help but push but this time I was really reluctant to let go and give way to pushing. Even in the water I felt anxious and scared to push. I held back for a couple more contractions but it was getting difficult not to push. Therese told me to transfer the fear into energy to push. Andrew knelt behind me and held me under the arms. It was hard work. I could feel Andrew's love and support. I prayed and prayed for God's strength and nearness. I gave all I got for a couple contractions and expected her to be out. Andrew told me to relax and rest until the next contraction (just what I needed to hear). And then the moment I'd been anticipating for sooo long - I held my baby girl in my arms, felt her warm soft skin against my face, heard her tiny cry.

She was absolutely beautiful. I looked up at Andrew - we did it! Thank you Abba! Even though her head was bigger than either of the others I didn't need stitches. Hallelujia! We voxed family in the States. Abrielle Melinda born 1:30am 9lb11oz. They were all awake and rejoiced and exclaimed with us live! Andrew returned home to the kids. Milked the cows after a couple hours sleep and then brought the kids in at about noon (along with a bunch of roses). Zeke and Taz were enamored with Abrielle and have been ever since!

Leaving River Ridge Birth Center with Roses from Andrew and my precious parcel.

Meeting Aunty Lorraine

Stories with Zeke (best big bro!)

Sleepless nights!

Part of the fam...watching Zeke and Zara play

Love our new little angel! xx